


A Bite of Lamb

by cuddleslutloki



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Age Difference, Birthday Sex, Bottom Loki (Marvel), Camping, Consensual Underage Sex, Dirty Talk, M/M, Masturbation, Non-Consensual Voyeurism, Sex Toys, Size Difference, Size Kink, Top Thor (Marvel), Unhealthy Relationships, Voyeur Thor, Voyeurism, predatory behavior, teenage loki
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-08
Updated: 2018-12-08
Packaged: 2019-09-14 09:02:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16910016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cuddleslutloki/pseuds/cuddleslutloki
Summary: Thor returns home for the first time since he left for college. It's been four years, and he's sure now he'll never hurt Loki.





	A Bite of Lamb

**Author's Note:**

> thor is a little dark and obsessive in this, just to warn you. self-edited so there may be lingering mistakes.

Thor always knew Loki was beautiful. His little brother was precocious, a trouble maker. The mischief he created gave their family hours worth of stories to tell at reunions. Loki had been called handsome, cute, adorable and anything else anyone could think to call him since before he could talk. As he got older the comments were made more and more frequently by more and more people. How could they not? Loki was incredible. Slim, athletic, a gorgeous smile and a light, airy laugh. 

Thor loved Loki more than he loved anyone else alive. He loved Loki more than he should, and he knew that, but he couldn’t stop. There had been more attempts than were worth recounting, but nothing worked. Not when Loki would look at Thor like he was the only person in the world who mattered. But it was normal for little brothers to admire their big brothers, to worship them even. Loki was normal, he was good, even under all the pranks and the penchant for lying. If he knew what Thor was, what Thor felt, he’d never want to see Thor again. 

That was why Thor kept his laptop and phone password locked in high school, why he’d changed his passwords every three weeks, why he’d clear out his phone data completely every two months. He was thorough, and he was private. Loki could never know. Thor had even gone to and out of state college just to put distance between them. 

Not that it changed anything. Being four-hundred miles away, drowning in schoolwork, working so hard he sometimes forgot to eat, none of it could distract him. Maybe he was at fault, too, because he hadn’t put in any kind of actual effort since he was seventeen. That was when he’d wiped all of his pictures of Loki from his phone, his laptop, and his external hard drive. His entire senior year of high school he’d kept his shit together about it. But he hadn’t destroyed the DVDs he’d burned with backups of all of his material of Loki, and he found them in a box after he’d moved out. The want hit him like a hammer to the skull. 

He’d reconciled himself to it, to the desire and the need, to his kind of love. There was no risk of him hurting Loki. Not ever. As much as he wanted, he could control himself. Thor was confident in the peace that had settled in his mind about this. Loki was beautiful and Thor loved him and there was no harm in that love. That was why he was finally coming home after four years away.

Thor drummed a rhythm against his steering wheel in tune to the song on the radio and made the left turn onto his parent’s street. He pulled up in front of their house, parked his truck on the curb, and cut the engine off. Loki burst out the front door immediately, phone in hand as he came around to the driver’s side, apparently taking video since he was talking so much. 

“And now, my big brother is finally home, he’s done abandoning me. Everyone meet Thor,” Loki said, turning the camera on him.

Thor smiled and waved, still in the driver’s seat, and laughed when a flurry of comments began scrolling up from the bottom of Loki’s Instagram live. Most of the comments were the word daddy and a bunch of eggplant emojis. He covered his face with his hand and laughed into it, shaking his head. 

Loki turned the screen to see what Thor was laughing at and made a disgusted noise as he pulled his phone back. “You’re all uncontrollable beasts. I have to welcome my brother back, expect a selfie later.”

Thor climbed out of his truck as Loki was putting his phone in his pocket. Before the door even closed Loki jumped on him, smelling like coconut and something else sharp and woodsy. His weight felt right in Thor’s arms. 

“I didn’t realize you missed me so much,” Thor said, his voice quiet as he took in the scent of Loki’s hair tickling his nose.

Loki scoffed and hugged him tighter. “That’s because you’re an idiot.” 

Thor chuckled and took another deep breath, then pulled back. A calm washed over him that he hadn't expected. He’d wondered if lust would overpower him, if he’d feel frenzied at returning, but neither happened. Warmth filled his chest, made him feel lighter, and put a smile on his face. 

Loki’s eyes were bright, looking him up and down. “You look good.”

Thor shrugged. “The school had a free gym. Here, help me get my stuff inside.”

A beleaguered sigh was all Loki gave him, though he was still offered two good arms to load up with his bags. Thor didn’t have many, just some clothes he hadn't donated. He carried his laptop bag and followed Loki inside. The house was silent, which was to be expected in the early afternoon on a weekday. Some time alone with Loki was just what he wanted. 

His room was largely the same, but somehow Loki’s clutter had infected his desk. Thor raised an eyebrow to his little brother, who completely ignored it and dropped the bags he was carrying on the floor, then flopped right down in Thor’s bed. 

Loki kicked his sandals off and settled with his back against the headboard. “Are you going to get a job?”

Thor cleared some of Loki’s mess to one side of his desk and nodded. “I’m going to work at the gym, at least part time.”

“Good, then you can take me out and make up for never coming home to see me,” Loki teased.

Thor rolled his eyes. “I don’t remember you being this needy.”

“Well, you haven’t been home in four fucking years, Thor,” Loki’s tone was sharp, some actual hurt bleeding into it. 

Thor frowned and stopped unpacking his laptop bag. He went to the bed and sat down beside Loki, watching as his baby brother fidgeted with his hands. 

“Hey, what is this?” Thor reached out and brushed his fingers along Loki’s hands. 

Loki sighed and shook his head. “Forget it. How’s your girlfriend?”

Thor’s brows furrowed, but he knew better than to push. He let Loki change the subject, but made a note to return to this. He never meant to hurt Loki. That was the entire point of not coming home, even during the holidays. 

He wrapped his hand around Loki’s wrist to stop the fidgeting and felt his throat tighten a bit. Loki was so small and so soft. 

“Jane and I broke up. She’s got an internship at CERN and neither of us wanted a long-distance relationship.” Thor shrugged and put on a lopsided grin. 

Loki grabbed his thumb and tugged on it. “She dumped you for the particle collider.”

Thor laughed, real and true. “She kinda did, yeah.”

But he’d let her go. He hadn’t fought even a second for her. She was a good friend, but as a girlfriend she’d ended up as another failed distraction from his love for his brother. It wasn’t fair to use her like that. 

“So you're single and you look… you're going to go out and get a girlfriend or boyfriend,” Loki glanced at him, paused on the word, “and I'm still not going to see you all summer.”

Thor sighed and climbed into the bed, sitting next to Loki with his back against the headboard. There was barely any room. He hesitated a moment, then reached over and pulled Loki into his lap and hugged him tight. Loki's head tucked right into the crook of his neck and Thor ignored the swooping feeling in his stomach. 

“I'm sorry, Loki,” Thor pressed a kiss to Loki's hair, despite the awkward angle. 

Loki snuggled into his neck and just breathed. It was the closest they'd been in nearly six years; right when Thor had started to distance himself, when he knew something was really wrong with him. He was proud of his control now. Warmth was filling him, but he was doing well not to let it affect his cock. 

At least he was until Loki wiggled in his arms to adjust their position. Thor stopped breathing as Loki moved and tried to think of anything to keep himself soft. 

Calculus, Tony throwing up at a frat party, his old advisor who always wore his toupee sideways—Loki put his hand on the side on Thor's neck and curled in as small as he could until all of him fit perfectly in Thor's lap. 

Thor was hard quicker than he'd ever been before, his heartbeat was throbbing in his dick and he wanted to put his hand up Loki's shirt and feel his skin. Instead he waited, barely breathing, for Loki to say something about his hard-on. There was no way he couldn't feel it pressing into his soft little ass. God Loki still had plenty of baby fat and Thor wanted to sink his teeth in and taste. Wanted to know his brother every way he could be known. 

Loki hummed once he was settled. “I might fall asleep on you.”

Thor forced a laughed, voice tight, his cock twitched. “You tired?”

Loki nodded. “I didn't sleep last night.”

“Oh,” Thor said, knowing how lame he sounded, “what were you doing?”

He didn't have any right to Loki's privacy but he couldn't help it. His rational brain was shutting down and all he could think about was owning all of Loki, knowing everything, being his everything. 

“I was just online mostly. I don't have school, so there's no bedtime,” Loki smiled into his chest, voice going all soft and sweet. Fuck. 

“What about your summer work?” Thor asked. 

“Got it all done last week,” Loki replied, far off as he fell right asleep in Thor's arms. 

Thor closed his eyes and just listened to Loki's deep, even breathing. Him being tired explained his attitude. Not that Loki didn't normally have one, but he’d always been more private with his emotions. Openly cussing at Thor, pouting, these weren't things he was prone to. At least Thor didn't think so. He also hadn't seen Loki once in four years, so there was a real chance he'd missed more than he realized. 

Loki took a deep breath and moaned in his sleep, nuzzling Thor's neck. Fuck, Thor was going to end up blue-balled. 

Thor began moving as slowly as he could, shifting Loki out of his lap and onto the bed. Loki's ass and thigh dragged on his cock the whole way and Thor bit his tongue to keep from reacting to it. He had to take care of this and he wasn't going to kick Loki out of his room. 

He kicked his boots and socks off and went to the bathroom across the hall, locking the door behind him. His parents wouldn't be home until tonight, so it wasn't necessary, but it made him feel better. Jacking off on the toilet brought him right back to high school and sent a thrill through him. Memories of Loki's pretty little face filled his mind, that gappy smile and the way he laughed. He looked even better now, though, growing up and growing into himself. Thor pushed his sweatpants down his hips and grabbed his cock, squeezing his shaft to tease. 

Loki had filled out so beautifully, his eyes framed by gorgeous black lashes. He was still so small, though, almost sixteen and he fit so well in Thor's lap.

Thor rubbed his foreskin with his thumb and index finger, rolled it back and forward, playing with it. Loki's fingers were thinner than his, not callused from weightlifting. So soft, Loki was so soft. 

He wrapped his fist around himself and started an easy rhythm, thinking of nothing in particular. After a moment he dug his phone out of his pocket and went to Loki's Instagram. There, perfect. Rows of his little brother’s smiling face. Thor grinned and twisted his wrist, a soft moan in his throat as he found the perfect picture. It was a selfie in the backyard, Loki smiling with a flower tucked behind his ear. Beautiful.

Thor glanced at the door, listened for any sound, any indication that Loki had woken up. Nothing. He chewed on his lower lip, then let out a low moan as he looked at Loki's selfie. 

“My sweet Loki,” he whispered, feeling secure in his privacy. 

He palmed the head of his cock, spread his precum around, then flipped to another picture. Loki in a tank top, a sunburn on his shoulders and the bridge of his nose. Thor ached to have missed so much, but they could catch up now. 

He flipped to the next selfie and knew this was the one he could cum to. Loki had a devious little smile, lips parted, a flash of teeth, tongue lifted to brush against his top lip. Pretty little trouble maker. Thor could wipe that smile off his face, put another one on, make Loki cry and shake and cling to him. Fuck Loki would feel so little under him, so good. 

Thor groaned and muttered to himself as his hips twitched to push up into his fist, “yeah, yeah, my good little brother, so pretty Loki, god—”

Thor gasped and grit his teeth to keep from shouting as that sweet pressure burst and he came all over himself. He’d jacked off right before he left but he was still cumming so hard, there was so much. He looked at the door and took a breath to bring himself down. Loki was right across the hall in his bed sound asleep. They could take a nap together. 

He should've taken his shirt off. Cum seeped into the cotton as he calmed. That cute little smile was rewarding him as his cock softened, and he smiled back and double tapped the photo to like it so he could find it again, then took a screenshot. Hopefully Loki would take another selfie like that. 

Thor stood and stripped out of his shirt once he pulled his pants back up. He gathered a stray drop of cum on his finger as it dripped and licked it off, then washed his hands and went back to the bedroom. Loki was on his stomach in the bed, legs spread a bit. Fresh heat filled Thor's stomach and he took his phone out and snapped three pictures. It would be good to have his own new material instead of borrowing from social media. 

Everything was still the same after four years away, so Thor was able to toss his shirt in his hamper without looking away from Loki’s sleeping form. His little brother didn’t stir as he crawled back in bed and curled around him. The drive had been longer than he realized, and with the afterglow running through his veins he fell asleep quickly, further lulled by Loki’s smell and the rhythm of his breath. 

Their mother woke them after the sun had set, a smile on her face that made Thor feel like a little kid again. It had been too long since he’d been back. 

••

Loki had begged Thor to buy the blow-up swimming pool. Thor only resisted for appearance’s sake. No, this was a dream, Thor was never planning to actually deny Loki. 

He stood in the kitchen and watched Loki through the window, snapping a few pictures in the spare seconds he had. Thor hadn’t been given any shifts at the gym until the weekend, so he could spend all week with his little brother. 

Thor took a picture when Loki stood up, his trunks clinging to him and his hair plastered to his skull. Then he grabbed the popsicles he'd originally come in to get and went back outside. 

Loki smiled and rung water out of his hair as Thor approached and handed him one of the treats. 

“Mm, wait c’mere, I need to take a selfie with you,” Loki said. 

Thor smiled and leaned over, but his heart skipped a beat when Loki hastily unwrapped his popsicle and stuck it right between his soft, pink lips. Shit. 

He smiled at the camera, though it took considerable effort not to just stare at the way Loki’s lips wrapped around the strawberry creamsicle. Loki didn’t even know how fucking beautiful he was. Thor would have to make sure he was safe. Maybe he should keep a closer eye on Loki’s social media, make sure that no one was lurking around with bad intentions. 

Loki relaxed on his knees at the edge of the pool and posted the selfie, tagging Thor in the process. Thor looked and liked it immediately. Fuck he was going to cum so hard looking at this tonight. 

Thor ate his popsicle and only pictured Loki's cock twice. Not that he knew what it looked like, but he was sure there was a way to find out. He sucked the bottom half of his popsicle off the stick and chewed it. Loki was looking at him, his own popsicle hanging halfway out of his mouth. 

“What?” Thor asked. 

Loki snapped out of whatever daydream he was in and shrugged, then went back to his phone. 

Thor chuckled and checked his email, checked his work schedule, then started scrolling Instagram. Loki had made three posts in the last two days, and Thor couldn’t stop looking at them. One of them was the selfie they just took, but the one before that was almost decadent.

It was a picture taken by someone else, one of Loki's friends clearly. He was looking directly at the camera with a smirk, and there was a little bit of white cream on his lips, a Magnum bar melting down the stick in his fingers.

Thor took a screenshot of the post and glanced over at Loki. His little brother was happily unaware, just sucking away at the strawberry creamsicle. 

Fuck he was so cute.

Thor smiled and readjusted in his chair, angling himself so he was facing Loki a little more, and opened his camera. Loki was sitting a little too-low in the frame, so Thor moved again, held his phone in one hand and pretended to scroll with his thumb while he adjusted the focus. 

He snapped the first picture when Loki’s cheeks hollowed and part of the popsicle broke off between his lips. Four more were taken while Loki chewed that and licked up syrup that dribbled out of his mouth. Thor stopped when he felt his cock stir in his pants. It was one thing to slip away when Loki was asleep, he couldn’t do it when Loki was awake. These pictures would be good enough for now.

Loki finished his popsicle and tossed the stick into the grass, set his phone in the vacant chair across from Thor, and fell back into the water with a little splash. He floated with his eyes closed and bounced against the narrow walls of the pool. Water droplets rolled over his stomach and collected in his bellybutton. The sun made Loki’s skin shine and he looked so creamy, so soft and relaxed and wet.

Thor felt a hunger crawling through his blood seeing his baby brother like that.

He wanted Loki in so many ways, but mostly he wanted to express the full depth of his love. Loki had been his entire life when he was young. He’d always thought the world of Loki, worshiped him, and neither time nor distance had diminished that.

The sound of a car door shutting pulled him out of his thoughts and caught both their attention. Their father called for help with the groceries and Thor hopped up and ran to the front of the house before he could see Loki stand up again, dripping wet and tempting him to commit a felony.

••

It was wrong. Even as morally flexible as Thor could be, he knew this was wrong. Didn’t mean he was going to move, though.

Loki was so pretty laying in his bed, naked and hard, with his pretty cock all slicked up with lube. Thor had only meant to ask Loki if he’d seen one of Thor’s shirts. He was trying to do laundry and he couldn’t find the shirt he worked out in the day before.

The door was cracked just enough for Thor to peek in and see Loki’s lower half in the corner of his room farthest away. He had his phone up before he could stop himself, but he hesitated with his finger on the button. Every picture he’d ever taken of Loki was clothed. There was a possibility that they were innocent. He could write them off as something else. If he did this there was no going back.

Thor looked at his phone’s screen and saw Loki’s hand working that pretty cock and clicked the video icon. May as well make it count.

Loki was making little huffing noises, heavy breaths that carried whimpers he was trying to bite back. Fuck, he hoped the camera caught them. Thor was going to die if he couldn’t hear that again. He saw Loki’s stomach shaking and pressed his hand to his cock, giving himself just a little pressure, but nowhere near enough. Nothing would ever be enough, but he’d resigned himself to that a long time ago.

Suddenly Loki fucked up into his fists and came nice and messy with heavy pulses of thick white that splashed on his belly. He kept tugging his cock and squeezing himself until he was whining and Thor felt lightheaded seeing it. After a moment he clicked the video icon again to cut the camera off and backed away slowly.

With every step he felt he was being too loud and the short distance from Loki’s room to his own took twice as long as normal to traverse. His hands were shaking as he closed his door and they didn’t stop shaking as he ripped the box of toys out from under his bed and grabbed his fleshlight.

He didn’t normally use it, didn’t normally like it all that much, but his hand wasn’t going to be good enough this time.

Thor shoved his shorts down his hips and hastily laid in bed and squirted lube onto his cock. The cold felt nice, sharp on his overheated skin as he worked the slick around. He gripped his phone tight in his free hand and found the video he’d just taken and started it. Only about forty seconds long, but god it was going to be the best thing he’d ever watched.

He slid the fleshlight over his cock and checked, then re-checked that his phone was truly muted and not just turned down low. The soft velvety grip of the toy on his cock was so good. Loki would feel even better inside, he knew. Loki would be so hot and even tighter. Loki would look up at him with those pretty eyes. Loki would smile. Loki would pull his hair and get them both all dirty with cum—

“Fuck, oh, oh, fuck!” Thor grit his teeth to keep from shouting and came so hard it hurt.

He came so much it was dripping out and down into his pubic hair. He’d never finished so fast. The video was already over, and he was left with the shaky still of Loki’s hand working that pretty cock. Something heavy curled in Thor's stomach and he was confused by it. Normally he was warm and happy after he came. He could go back to whatever he had been doing before. But this. This didn’t feel like that. Thor swallowed hard and realized he couldn’t stop looking at that little thumbnail. He felt so hungry.

Shit.

Thor tossed the fleshlight back into his toy box and resigned himself to cleaning it later. He couldn’t move yet. Instead he pulled his shorts back up and kept staring at the video.

Maybe he’d crossed a line, broken something in himself even more than he already was. Dammit.

His door opened and Loki walked in and flopped onto his bed without a word. Thor fumbled hitting the home button on his phone, but managed just in time to keep Loki from seeing what he had, what he’d seen, what he took.

Loki grabbed his remote and turned on the tv sitting on his desk. “Let’s watch a movie.”

Thor nodded, but his body was on fire. He wanted to press his baby brother’s thighs together and rut between them until he made Loki dirty, wanted to see his cum dripping across Loki’s pretty smile, to mark him. Would some of Loki’s cum still be on his belly, or did he wash it all off? Maybe he licked it up.

It was impossible. Something in Thor had changed and he wanted so desperately now in a way he he’d never felt before.

Loki threw his legs over Thor’s lap and settled in. Thor still had his own cum drying on his cock and the longer he waited the harder it would be to clean the toy but—wait.

“Is that my shirt?” Thor knew it was, it hung off of Loki’s tiny frame like a damn tent and it had a graphic of the science building of Thor’s school printed on it.

That was the shirt he wore to the gym yesterday.

Loki shrugged and kept his eyes on the tv. “I don’t know, it was in my room, so I’m wearing it.”

Thor nodded, not sure he could say something that wouldn’t be awful or downright predatory. He liked it. Loki looked good in his clothes, smelling like him, looking like he belonged to Thor.

Fuck. Thor wasn’t going to survive.

••

An afternoon nap was something Thor had learned to love in college, and he loved it just as much now that he was back home.

He stretched in bed and groaned as his back popped and his muscles relaxed into that pleasant, post-stretch tingle. Staying in bed was tempting, but he really couldn't, his sleep schedule was fucked up enough as it was, so he rolled out of bed and stumbled into the bathroom to pee. His thoughts drifted to Loki, as they often did, and he wondered about his brother's upcoming birthday. Loki hadn't told him about any plans for a party, and neither had their parents.

Thor walked back into his bedroom still thinking about what he wanted to do for Loki's party, but his mind fell completely silent at the sight of Loki sitting on his bed. That was normal, what wasn't was the fact that Loki was holding Thor's phone, staring at it with a blank expression. They looked at each other and Loki tapped the screen and unmistakable audio began playing at full blast.

Loki wasn't looking at him, he was watching the video. A video of himself jacking off, taken in secret by his own brother. Thor closed his eyes a felt sick, twisting guilt rolling in his stomach. The video ended after forty seconds and Loki set his phone down on the bed.

“Shut the door.” Loki’s voice was emotionless.

Thor nodded and did as Loki told him. There was no excuse, so he didn’t speak or move. He stayed where he was and waited for whatever Loki was going to do to him and knew that he deserved it.

Loki stood and went to Thor’s desk, opened the laptop and logged on. After a couple clicks of the mouse a whole gallery of photos of Loki were on the screen. The folder went back for years, with Loki barely even twelve in the oldest of them. Thor couldn’t see any of the thumbnails clearly with how far away he was, but he had each of those pictures memorized. It was years’ worth of his predation. He shouldn’t have come home.

“Sit on the bed, Thor,” Loki said, eyes still glued to the laptop screen as he scrolled through the folder.

It had been password protected and hidden on the external drive. How did Loki even find it? How did he get into any of Thor’s electronics? Maybe. Had Thor forgotten to turn his laptop off when he went to work last night? That didn’t explain his phone, though.

In the end it didn’t really make much difference how Loki found everything, did it?

Thor went to the bed and sat down with his hands on his thighs and his head hung low. He considered if there was any kind of bargain he could make with Loki, any way to save himself. Promise to never return, maybe, just leave forever and disappear from their lives.

Loki came to him and stood so close they were almost touching. More than anything Thor wanted to hug Loki close and apologize. He wanted to beg forgiveness so he wouldn’t have to relive the pain of being separated from the person he loved most in his life.

“How long?” Loki asked.

Thor swallowed and cleared his throat, trying to banish the tight feeling that had settled there. “Since I was thirteen, I think.”

Loki scoffed. “Jesus Christ, Thor.”

Thor winced and ducked his head even lower. “I know.”

“Do you?” Loki’s voice was sharp. “Do you know?”

Tears burned at Thor’s eyes and he sniffed to keep his nose from running. His life was falling apart and there was nothing he could do to stop it.

Loki grabbed Thor’s phone and shoved the the screen into his face, holding up the image gallery which was filled predominantly with pictures of Loki. Some were innocent selfies, but most were taken when Loki wasn’t aware. Thor’s favorite flashed by, one of Loki in just a pair of boxers in his bedroom, bathed in pale morning light.

“You have all of these, and I’m left with fucking scraps?” Loki’s voice shook as he spoke. “I have to hunt down pictures of you on your social media and stalk your friends and they aren’t even good pictures and you have all of this!”

Thor froze where he sat. His heart skipped in his chest and his stomach lurched violently. He was scrambling in his head, but unable to process what Loki was saying. Scraps?

“You say that you’ve wanted me since I was a little kid but you left me alone, Thor! You left!” Loki shoved at his shoulder, then punched it and shoved him again.

Thor sat there and only moved when Loki made to slap him across the face, catching his little brother’s wrist and finally looking up into those gorgeous green eyes. Both of them were crying, both shaking, a world of hurt between them that Thor felt like he had all wrong now.

“Loki,” Thor began, voice much steadier than he felt, “I need you to take a deep breath and tell me what’s going on in that pretty head of yours.”

Tears fell down Loki’s cheeks and Thor hurt to see it, he knew they were his fault, but he hoped he could still fix it. Loki hiccoughed and sniffed hard, he pulled himself free of Thor’s grip and ran a hand through his hair.

“Do you know how fucking hard it was to be alone, Thor?” Loki whispered, voice watery and light.

Thor took a breath to ease the pounding of his heart. “I’m sorry.”

“I thought you knew that I had a crush on you, and you thought I was disgusting and you left and didn’t come back because you didn’t want to be around me, I thought—”

Thor stood and pulled Loki into a hug, cradling the back of his head in one hand and shushing him softly. Loki relaxed against him and hugged him back. His hands clutched to Thor’s shirt as he cried quietly into his chest.

They stood together a moment, neither moving until Thor turned his head and pressed a kiss into Loki’s hair. The scent of Loki’s coconut conditioner filled his nose as he nuzzled the top of Loki’s head. 

“You listen to me, Loki, I have never once in my life thought you were disgusting. Do you understand me?” Thor put force into his voice, demanded Loki believe him.

“But why did you leave?” Loki’s voice was muffled in his sternum, so small and nervous, just like he was when they were young.

Thor took a breath and rubbed a circle between Loki’s shoulders. “Because I didn’t want to hurt you, Loki. I never trusted myself with you. I had no idea you felt this way, or I wouldn’t have left like I did.”

“How would you have hurt me?” Loki asked, turning his head to the size to rub his face against Thor’s pec.

Thor chuckled, knew what Loki was trying, but didn’t take the bait. Instead he pulled back just enough to draw Loki’s face up with a finger hooked under his chin.

“Hey,” Thor said softly, “do you want a kiss?”

Loki blinked, then nodded with a wide smile. His eyes were still red and glassy, but he was much calmer, so sweet.

Thor leaned in and pressed their lips together and in his mind he could perfectly see the last time they’d done this. Looking back he felt stupid for not realizing. Loki had skinned his knee because Thor bumped into him, then demanded a kiss to make him feel better. It had made Thor’s blood run hot and being a teenager he couldn’t control his reaction, he’d been hard and felt ashamed. Everything had been made worse by the fact that he couldn’t even cum without picturing his brother’s soft little face.

But this was different. Loki needed him, Loki had always needed him. The only shame he felt now was that he ran and left his baby brother all alone and confused. Never again.

The kiss ended and they looked at each other and held each other close. Thor leaned in for another kiss and sighed into Loki’s mouth when it opened for him. He was home. Loki was eager and sloppy when Thor’s tongue pushed into his mouth, uncoordinated as he tried to copy what Thor was doing.

They parted and Thor chuckled, then gently cupped Loki’s jaw. “Easy, it’s not a race.”

“I want to make up for lost time,” Loki said.

“We will,” Thor promised as he glanced to the clock on the wall, “but it might need to wait. Mom and Dad are coming home soon.”

Loki shook his head. “Nope. They have that meeting at the club. It’s one of those charity events, just an excuse to party. They might not be back until after midnight.”

It was barely past five o’clock, and the possibilities were making Thor’s head spin. Hours. They had hours.

“Well,” Thor began, “what do you want to do, then?”

Loki’s grin was downright devilish and Thor’s cock was filling just from looking at it.

“Did you jack off after you took the video?” Loki asked.

Thor nodded and licked his lips. “I did, but I used a toy.”

“A toy?” Loki quirked an eyebrow. “I didn’t know you had toys.”

Thor pulled back and reached under his bed to pull out the box with his fleshlight. He’d been using it more and more in the week since he’d taken the video, and it was freshly cleaned because he’d expected to be using it again tonight. 

Loki made a low, pleased noise at the sight of toy and reached out to touch the silicone head. “Why not just use your hand?”

Thor chuckled and gently guided two of Loki’s fingers into the soft channel. Loki’s mouth fell open and his eyebrows shot up.

“Oh,” Loki said, “because it’s easier to pretend you’re fucking me like this.”

Thor’s stomach flipped and his heart pounded in his chest. “Yes.”

Loki pulled his fingers free and met Thor’s eyes. “Will you show me?”

Thor’s skin pricked with goosebumps all over and he gave a jerky nod and nearly tripped into bed, quickly laying with his back against the headboard as he shoved his sweatpants down. His cock was flushed deep red and he was already so hard he could feel himself throbbing with his heartbeat. Loki settled in bed with him and curled into his side. The feeling of having Loki so close when he was hard and exposed was making his head spin. It was every fantasy he’d had since he was a teenager come to life.

Loki leaned away and rifled around his bedside table and handed him his bottle of lube, to which Thor raised an eyebrow and Loki only shrugged. Little snoop.

Thor squirted lube into his hand and let it warm against his skin before spreading it around his cock. Loki’s hand slipped up under his shirt and rested against his stomach. That soft little touch made Thor want so badly and reality slammed into him like a hammer to the skull. This was real and Loki was not close enough.

“Take your shirt off, Loki,” Thor whispered.

Loki did as asked and Thor groaned at the sight of Loki’s pretty, pale skin bared for him. He wrapped his free arm around Loki and hugged him close as he slipped the fleshlight onto his cock. The hunger he’d woken in himself ripped through him and made his mouth water.

Loki’s hands were back under his shirt, rubbing his stomach and on up to his chest. He felt like there was no way he could last the way he wanted to. Not with his precious, soft little brother cuddled up next to him.

“Fuck, you’re going to make me cum too fast,” Thor panted, twisting the toy around his cock as he jacked himself off with it.

Loki giggled and pressed a kiss to his jaw. “Well, don’t hold back on my account, brother.”

Thor groaned and moved his hips into every stroke to work himself even faster. The bed frame groaned with the rhythm of his thrusts and he thought it probably sounded like he was fucking Loki. That image sank into him and made his dick twitch and swell even more.

“Isn’t it a little dirty that you wanted me when I was so little?” Loki asked, his voice silky soft as it filled Thor’s ear.

“God, Loki, shut up.” Thor grit his teeth as he spoke and tried to hold off, tried to keep this from ending so quickly, but it was useless. What Loki wanted Loki would have.

Loki bit his earlobe and pinched his nipple. “Did you think about me being all soft, Thor? You know I thought about you, too. Not like that, but I wanted you to come sleep in my bed and keep me warm.”

Liquid fire raced through Thor’s veins and made him shake, his cock jerked in the sleeve as he grit his teeth and tried not to cum.

Loki pressed a kiss to his ear. “You always made me feel so safe.”

Thor gasped and shouted as he came hard, his orgasm ripped out of him by his baby brother’s silver tongue. He pulled the fleshlight off and let the last few splashes of cum fall on his belly. Loki didn’t hesitate, he leaned right in and licked it up, panting against Thor’s skin and moaning loudly he slurped it all off.

“Fucking Christ, Loki,” Thor groaned. If he thought he was going to die before it was nothing compared to this.

Loki giggled and pushed at Thor until he scooted over enough for them to lay side by side. He shoved his shorts down and freed his pretty cock, then looked at Thor and bit his lip.

“It’s still wet in there, right?” He asked.

Thor nodded and rolled onto his side so he could curl in around Loki and block his body off from the door. Closed or not, he wanted to shield Loki.

He gently slid the sleeve onto Loki’s cock and watched little twitches start in Loki’s stomach and thighs. At least Thor wouldn’t be the only one finishing early. Loki didn’t speak, he just turned his head and  moaned into Thor’s chest as he fucked up into every downward stroke of the fleshlight. Thor’s mouth watered when he saw white streaks on Loki’s skin. His cum, most of the load he’d spent, was now marking his little brother’s dick.

Loki pulled him into a kiss and whimpered into his mouth, then yelled as he shoved his hips up so hard Thor almost lost grip on the toy. He held it snug to the base of Loki’s cock and had his breath punched out of him when he realized he could feel the way Loki’s dick jumped as he came.

After a minute Loki calmed and wrapped his arms around Thor’s neck. They kissed slow and lazy, both sated and happy and warm with each other so close, so open now.

“Thor, will you fuck me for my birthday?” Loki asked.

Thor chuckled. “Yeah, what are you doing, I haven’t heard anything.”

“I didn’t plan a party, I was hoping you’d take me somewhere.” Loki’s voice was quiet and his words poured out slowly like he might fall asleep.

“Wanna go camping?” Thor bumped their noses together and let his voice dip low.

Loki shivered against him and nodded quickly. His pretty mouth opened, but the front door closed downstairs and both of their heads whipped right to Thor’s bedroom door. Thor cussed and yanked his pants back up while Loki scrambled to get Thor’s phone off the floor.

“The club meeting was cancelled,” Loki whispered in a hiss.

Thor yanked his blankets up and slid in. He turned the TV on and Loki slammed the laptop on the desk shut, then climbed in bed with him. They sprawled together, trying to look as natural as possible, and both pretended to be asleep.

Just as Thor closed his eyes their mother opened his bedroom door.

She chuckled and from behind her their father’s voice was echoing through the hall.

“I just can’t believe they wouldn’t give us more than half an hour’s notice—what?” His steps came closer and then he made a soft, fond sound. “It’s like they never grew up.”

Their mother hummed. “You know I was so worried they would fight. You know how Loki holds grudges, and he’s been so hurt that Thor never came home. You remember how he cried that first Christmas?”

Heavy shame pooled in Thor’s stomach and shuffled a bit to wrap his arm around Loki more.

“Come, Love, let them sleep,” their father said.

A moment later the door clicked shut and Thor let out a slow breath, then pulled Loki even closer to him and felt tears burning his eyes.

“I’m so sorry, Loki,” he whispered.

Loki shook his head. “It’s okay now.”

“I’m never leaving you again,” Thor promised.

“I know,” Loki promised in return.

Nothing could take him away now. Loki needed him and Thor would never risk hurting his little brother again.

••

Somehow, miraculously, Thor managed to find a campground that didn’t have many campers in the middle of summer. Probably because it was too damn hot for most people to even consider it. Luckily he’d had the foresight to buy a few small fans to keep air circulating in the back of the truck during the night.

For Loki’s part, he didn’t seem to mind the heat all that much. Probably because he was spending most of his time half naked. Their campsite was surrounded on all sides by trees that were overgrown with thick honeysuckle bushes and the nearest campers to them were several plots away. No one could see them unless they came looking.

That was why Thor felt comfortable lounging in a camping chair with his cock chubbed up in his shorts as Loki danced around and made them lunch.

Burgers sizzled away over their little fire and Thor’s stomach growled at the smell of them. He was being assaulted from two fronts, and he knew now that Loki absolutely did all this shit on purpose. The only clothes Loki was wearing were a pair of skimpy athletic shorts, but Thor only called them that because he didn’t want to consider the possibility that they were cheer shorts. That would lead to the mental image of fucking his underage brother in a cheerleading skirt and that—

“Thor, you’re going to get arrested,” Loki teased while gesturing to his crotch with a pair of grill tongs.

Thor snorted and adjusted himself, then tried again, but he was too hard. He glanced around and didn’t see anyone except them, so he pulled his shorts down and kicked them off. Loki’s eyes went wide and he did the same check Thor did, then he hastily put the burgers into a lidded container and whipped his phone out.

“You have a video of me, so it’s only fair,” Loki said, looking at the screen instead of at him.

Thor smiled and wrapped his hand around his dick. “You’re right, that’s fair.”

He didn’t waste time, he stared at the camera and gripped himself tight as he started the rhythm he knew could make him cum fast. As much as he wanted, this wasn’t the time to indulge. If anyone walked along the main path there was still a chance of them being caught.

Loki’s cock was hard, too, begging Thor to suck him down and make him sob. But he knew Loki wanted a video, so he slipped two fingers into his mouth to soothe that need and closed his eyes. He never thought he could have everything he wanted. When he was younger he’d jerk himself off and think about how Loki was one room over, whether Loki might like his dick, if he’d want to touch. Every dirty little thing he could have thought about his brother, he did, but he always resigned himself to only ever having a fantasy. But tonight he was going to fuck his baby brother, they’d have everything. Thor would be Loki’s first, his only, they’d be together.

He opened his eyes and saw Loki stroking himself, mouth hanging open as he watched his phone screen. A flush was crawling down his chest and his hips were swaying into his hand. Goddamn he looked good like that.

Thor pulled his fingers out of his mouth and hiked his shirt up right as his balls drew tight and started pumping. A thick splash of cum landed right across one of his nippes and Loki whimpered, then his hand stilled and he was cumming, too. He took a step forward, trembling, and Thor moaned as Loki emptied onto his chest and stomach. Their cum dripped down his skin and he couldn’t resist swiping two fingers through to taste it, he moaned at the salty bitterness and felt like he could tell where he was tasting Loki and not himself.

Loki was panting as he finished the video and put his phone back into his pocket, his pretty cock going soft. Thor leaned forward and pressed a kiss to the soft shaft and slumped back into his chair. They smiled at each other, then started laughing and Loki grabbed paper towels so Thor could wipe himself down before they had lunch.

Even though so much had changed, Thor felt like they were still normal. Nothing was different between them, not where it mattered. All that had changed was that they didn’t need to hide from each other anymore. They loved one another just as they always had.

The afternoon wore on and cooled down, and soon enough the sounds of partying surrounded them as the sun began setting. Someone had their car radio blaring a top 40 station. The music was loud enough that they could make out the lyrics, so he knew it was loud enough to cover any sound he could pull out of Loki.

They climbed into the covered bed of Thor’s truck and Loki clicked on the fairy lights he’d put around the top of the cap with press-on hooks. It was cute, cozy, and it made Thor want to do this again the fall. Loki closed them in as Thor slid the windows open and turned on the small fans. The night was cool enough, perfect for the way Loki curled into his side and kissed his chest. Thor relaxed into the thick foam mattress laid in the bed of his truck and waited for whatever Loki wanted. No matter how badly he wanted to sink in and make Loki his, this wasn’t about him.

Loki crawled halfway on top of him with a smile and kissed him. There was more patience to the way he moved than there had been that first time in Thor's bedroom. Less biting and more sucking on his tongue, pulling his lips, doing everything Thor had shown him during their stolen moments over the last few days before they’d come out here. Maybe he’d realized this was all real and Thor wasn’t going anywhere. 

Thor pushed Loki back just enough to take his own shirt off and grinned when Loki did the same. There was nothing between them when Loki kissed him again, all skin on skin, so right. A slender hand trailed down his stomach to the bulge in his shorts. Loki grabbed his cock and squeezed hard enough to make Thor buck up into it.

Loki broke the kiss with a giggle. “Do you want to fuck me, Thor?”

Thor grabbed Loki's hair and pulled his head aside to expose that pretty neck. Loki shuddered and rubbed his dick, then let out a low moan when Thor kissed and sucked his creamy skin. A shame that Thor couldn't mark Loki up. No matter, Loki was still his.

Thor kissed the shell of Loki's ear and finally answered his question. “Yes, I want to fuck you.”

Loki’s hand slipped into his shorts and reached down to cup his balls. “Do you think you have anything else to give me?”

Thor growled and buried his face in Loki's neck so he wouldn't bite his brother. “Plenty.”

“Do you promise?” Loki tugged his sac with the barest pressure, just enough to make Thor's dick jump.

He pulled Loki's hand out of his shorts and flipped them over so he was on top. It was easy to forget how big he was sometimes. Loki was a tall kid, but he was so slim he all but disappeared under Thor.

Loki's eyes were wide, his mouth parted. Thor leaned in and kissed his cheek.

“Nervous?” Thor whispered.

Loki swallowed hard. “You'll take care of me, right?”

Thor nodded and kissed the corner of Loki's mouth. “Always.”

Loki took a breath and relaxed as Thor kissed his chin, then ducked down to kiss a path across his collarbones.

“Then I have nothing to worry about,” Loki paused, took another breath, “because you love me, right?”

Thor nodded and brushed his lips across Loki’s sternum. “More than anyone.”

He rubbed his hands up and down Loki's sides to just feel him. The old, familiar hunger that had possessed Thor since he was a teenager was crawling up, making itself known, demanding Thor finally see how Loki could cry for him.

For once Thor didn't fight it. He didn’t have to. Loki wanted him.

He started a slow, easy kiss and reached over to grab the lube they'd grabbed before they left home. Loki sighed between kisses and took the lube when Thor handed it to him. They both slipped out of their shorts and groaned when their cocks rubbed together. Every inch of their skin was bare and Thor was almost shaking. Fuck, he had wanted this for years, had worried over it, had felt shame and self-loathing, he thought his life would never be complete because of his desire but no, no, Loki chose to be here. Loki chose to be underneath him soft and naked with his delicious cock flushed and stiff.

Loki reached between them with wet fingers, the open bottle of lube discarded at their side for the moment. Thor moved so Loki could slide his hand down and start to work himself open but he couldn’t resist putting his own hand down to feel it happening. One finger went in easy, then the next after it. His body was relaxed as he fingered himself nice and slow. It felt like Loki was just playing with himself and heat rolled over Thor’s skin at the thought. He nuzzled Loki’s jaw and kissed a trail to his little brother’s ear.

“The first time I ever came, it was because of you,” Thor whispered.

Loki gasped and his fingers shoved in hard, then slipped free. “Open me up, c’mon, I need to feel you.”

Thor kissed just under Loki’s ear and felt around the slick mess, then slipped one finger in with ease. Loki was so needy for him. He thrusted his finger in and out, then slid a second in with no resistance. Loki spread to beautifully around him, let him in, squeezed him. His sweet baby brother was so pliant and willing under him.

“So,” Loki breathed, “what did you think about the first time?”

Thor crooked his fingers and rubbed around, then knew he found his target when Loki’s back arched and he cried out. There. Perfect. Maybe he could make Loki cum before he even slid his cock home.

“Didn’t think,” Thor said, “I was dreaming.”

Loki whined and pressed down on Thor’s fingers. “Did I have my legs spread for you? Were you dreaming about how small and innocent I was?”

Thor licked the shell of Loki’s ear and delighted in the shudder that wracked his baby brother’s body. “You’ve never been innocent, I know that now. But no, I dreamt about painting that soft little face of yours.”

A long, loud moan filled the enclosed space and even with the cap windows open the sound was trapped, made to feel twice as loud as it might have been elsewhere. Thor pressed a third finger into Loki’s body and groaned when it, too, was eagerly accepted.

“Fuck, it’s so easy for me to get inside you, Loki.” Thor fucked Loki’s soft hole with his fingers and brushed that sweet spot that made Loki choke on his own tongue.

Loki spread his legs wider and rocked his hips in time with Thor’s movements.

“My toys don’t feel like this,” he gasped.

A shot of electric heat raced up Thor’s spine as his breath was knocked out of him. He pushed up just enough to look at Loki’s face. Those pretty brows were furrowed, his mouth open and lips swollen from kisses. God but he looked so helpless, small, like he needed to be protected. Thor’s pulse throbbed in his cock and he felt something brutal and dark climbing up his back and taking him over.

He smiled as he leaned in to kiss Loki’s chin. “You fuck yourself, little brother?”

Loki gave a jerky nod and his stomach jumped. “Yes, yes, all the time.”

“What do you think about?” Thor’s voice was a murmur between them, an edge in that he couldn’t dull.

Loki whined and grabbed his shoulders. “You. Always you.”

A fiery, joyful pride flared in Thor’s chest and he felt like he’d won, like it was the end of a fight and he was left standing. His. Loki was his. He crooked his fingers and pressed right up on Loki’s g-spot and felt his entire body sag in relief when Loki shouted and came, his back arching and pretty dick shooting cum up to his chest. Thor hadn’t even cum yet but he felt satisfied. 

He stilled his fingers and kept Loki open as he came down. A sheen of sweat covered his skin and made Thor’s lips twitch with the need to latch on and suck hickies all over.

After a moment Loki settled and gave the prettiest smile Thor had ever seen. So gentle and real, a little tired looking, and there was such love in his gorgeous eyes that they sparkled in the low light of their makeshift camper. Nothing like this was posted on any of his social media. Thor knew, he followed all of Loki’s accounts and he’d seen every picture. This smile was his, so he kissed it right off of Loki’s face and pulled his fingers free.

He slicked his cock up and grabbed himself, ready to slide in, but Loki’s hand batted his out of the way and gripped him tight. Thor moaned into Loki’s mouth and let his little brother bring him home.

Even though he was loose and relaxed, Thor was still thick and the head nudged up against Loki’s hole for a torturous moment like it wouldn’t fit. Then Thor felt Loki’s body give as he popped right inside. It was so easy after that, just inch after inch of silken heat as he filled Loki up. There was nothing between them, nothing to dull the sensation or keep him from leaving a bit of himself inside Loki.

Loki was giving him everything and he’d give the same.

Thor buried his face in Loki’s neck and started a slow, easy rhythm. It would’ve been too easy to hurt Loki and that dark part of him couldn’t forgive that thought. Loki was too good to ever be hurt by him. Not like this. Never like this. The only thing Loki would feel from this was pleasure. He’d know how much Thor loved him.

Loki’s legs wrapped around him and a needy, stuttering moan came from deep in his chest. He cussed and cried out, sobbing Thor’s name in a chant until it didn’t sound like a word anymore. Thor sped up, fucked him a little harder, rocked the entire truck and heard his shocks squeaking.

The music at the other plot was still going. They were hidden. They were safe.

Thor’s balls felt heavy as they moved with his thrusts, so full and ready to mark Loki on the inside. He licked up the sweat off of Loki’s neck and grunted when he felt that sugar sweet pressure building inside. Now he could put his cum where it belonged instead of wasting it.

“I love you, Loki,” Thor panted, hips snapping as he chased the too-full feeling as his dick became harder and harder.

Loki’s fingers threaded in his hair and held him close. “Then don’t leave me empty.”

Thor’s eyes rolled in his head and he stopped breathing, grit his teeth, snapped his hips up once, then twice, and—

“Fuck! Fuck, Loki, oh fuck!” Thor shouted as he came, cock jerking hard as he pressed in as deep as he could go.

Loki hummed and massaged his scalp, made him relax, wrapped around him and cuddled him. Oh, Loki was so sweet like this, so good to him, so good for him. Thor wrapped his arms around Loki’s body and nuzzled his brother’s jaw, then pressed lazy kisses into it as his orgasm slowed and he started to go soft.

He’d never cum that hard, he felt so light with it, filled with an airy feeling that had him smiling as warmth pooled in his belly. Loki had him euphoric.

They moved together to lay on their sides, and Thor had to let out a slow breath when his cock slipped free. Loki threw a leg over him and used his arm for a pillow, curling in so close, just like he did when they would watch movies together as kids and he got too tired and wanted to take a nap.

How long had they been in love? How long had Loki been breathing? Those lengths of time had to match up. The first time he’d ever seen Loki he remembered feeling like his life was beginning, like only then could he be someone important, because he had his little brother.

Loki snored softly into his chest and Thor closed his eyes, felt whole, felt needed, felt like a good person for the first time since he was a teenager.

“Happy birthday, Loki,” he whispered.

Loki moaned softly in his sleep, and that gentle sound carried Thor into dreams about their future.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading, comment and let me know what you think :D


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